As entertaining as last night's drunken post was, I shall attempt to re-write it in a more clear (and much less offensive) way, with my most sincere apologies to my early-morning readers. Please forgive me for using so much profanity. I offer no excuse.
Last night I called an ex-girlfriend of mine and told her that I missed her. This was a poor decision on my behalf; I should have called my sponsor or my accountability brothers, but I didn't.
The grieving process is long and messy, and often has periods when you get blindsided, and memories are brought back that are too overwhelming to try to stifle and put back down. Such was the case this weekend, and again last night, and I dropped the ball. As a result, I have several apologies to make this morning.
#1) I'm sorry to Toni. She and I are officially dating, and I don't want to feel like I have to hide it. We had opted to keep our dating lives more private than I had in the past, but in this instance I need to make a public apology for a public offense. I messed up, and she deserved better than she got last night from me.
#2) I am sorry to all of you guys for messing up, and I'm sorry for subjecting all of you early-morning readers to such a tirade of obscenity. You guys deserve better than you got on that one, too.
#3) I'm sorry to the ex-girlfriend, for an unsolicited disturbing of your peace, making a nuisance of myself, and generally being a pain to deal with. I'm sorry, and I won't do it again.
On a different note, I went to see the doc again this morning. I got my anti-anxiety meds refilled, and he also got me something to help me sleep. I've been a lifelong insomniac, so we're going to try to knock that issue out as well.
Anyway, that's it for today.
Chuck; I moved you comment to this one & I got your e-mail. Thanks, man!
Day 159 (by the grace of God)
8 comments:
cblong2002 said...
Ian, you can't keep beating yourself up over this stuff.
Yes, I agree that you probably shouldn't have called the ex- for any reason, but most especially since you now have a wonderful gal in your life!
About the drinking, it sounds like it wouldn't hurt for you to address this issue. Is it a real problem? This is the first time I've seen it in your online blog. Is it a regular pattern that I've just not picked up on? I mean, I'm not there with you in Texas, but it sounds like it could get to be a serious issue with you.
Not condemning you my friend, heaven knows that I have a few too many drinks sometimes as well! No, this is not an issue in my life, but I know we all have little demons in our closets - I guess we just need to identify them and then remove their POWER over us by acknowleding they're there! Then, we can stop feeding them and move on with life.
Hope all of MY rambling makes sense. Hey, on a side note, did you get Dolly's email address from me? Let me know...
Keep Smiling my friend, always and forever! - Chuck
July 22, 2008 3:32 AM
Yeah - you're right, man. thank you for being there for me. I appreciate it (and you) more than you know.
Ordinarily, I really don't drink that much at all. I haven't had more than one beer in months, if not years. Last night was more of a freak occurance than a pattern of some kind. I appreciate the call-out, my brother. Thanks.
And I AM going to keep smiling :-)
Most of the people reading/commenting have had too many once or twice.
This guy has done so, um, "more" than that. *q:=
Now I feel like I shoulda taken that vodka last weekend. heh.
We still dinnering this eve?
Alternate suggestion: Dark Knight. C and I still haven't seen it.
Yeah - we're still on.
We saw Dark Knight yesterday
>pout<
In terms of it's praise for current situation the first version rocked
Yeah - the first version wasn't without some intrinsic value. Plus, I'm sure it was kind of entertaining in its own way ;-)
Oops. Well, we missed it. I checked late today. Oh well.
There's a reason the Bible says His mercies are new every morning, right?
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