After some thought on this, I've been looking at this whole house thing backwards. This house is sucking me dry, man - every single month. It's unbelievably stressful, as you guys have witnessed, and it taxes my serenity, and it stresses me all to hell - every single month. I started thinking last night - what if I only had to pay a few hundred dollars a month for someplace to live? I swear - I could feel my self start to unclench a little just at the thought of it, which is a great feat for me. And how much of this stress is either being taken out on my daughter or my family or my friends, and, perhaps more importantly, how much happiness is all of this stress robbing me of?
See - the point here is all I've thought about is what I stand to lose - I haven't thought about what I stand to gain.
What will I lose?
A) a place to live
B) a house that I love and have just now really started to make my home
C) a good credit report for the next 7-10 years
How can I mitigate these things?
A) I can find someplace else to live, man.
B) Home is where the heart is - you make any place your home.
C) That's a tough one, but after discussing this with my realtor, if you have enough capital, you can overcome poor credit.
But - what will I gain?
A) freedom from over $2k in recurring monthly debt
B) way more money to get myself out of debt
C) the ability to pay the majority of my bills on time
D) extra money to actually take my daughter places
E) freedom from yard work (which I hate - seriously)
F) the ability to put more capital down on a home in the future
G) the necessary money to cover my living expenses
H) oh yeah - peace of mind and a hell of a lot more serenity
And that's just for starters, too. I'm sure I could find a lot more silver linings if I actually looked.
I think Code Name Diamond would gladly move to an apartment or something if it meant that her daddy wouldn't be so stressed all the time, and she could actually go to Six Flags or NRH2O or Sea World or Austin or San Antonio or.....anywhere with her daddy.
Now don't get me wrong - I'm going to try desperately to unload the house as fast as possible, but even if the worst happens, it isn't the end of the world.
And even if it does go to foreclosure, I'm still taking my trees with me.
And I'm buying myself a new gun to ease my emotional turmoil and assuage my ego. I know it won't make the pain go away entirely, but I'm sure it can negate it a little.
That's it for today. I feel a lot better. And by the way - I prayed for each and every one of you at about 7:00 this morning. And yeah - I prayed for you, too.
Off to see the therapist, and then back to work.
167
7 comments:
Hallelujah.
I think getting rid of the 1 ton chain around your neck is a wonderful idea. Our problems are always so much worse when they're in the future than they are when they're in the past.
Agreed.
good work, zach.
I meant good "word", but both apply.
Plus, some of your neighbors are...not nice. I hope none of them are reading. ;-)
Were you impressed that I found the keyboard?
Who's not nice? Ian's neighbor, or ours? Our neighbors are pretty nice, but I think their kids are feral. They're the same age as ours, and we hear them playing out in the street as late as midnight.
Losing the house is better than losing your mind. People are praying. Be encouraged. Surround yourself with the best quality people you can find that bring peace not turmoil to your life. Encourage yourself with positive thinking. Your mind is a powerful tool. Things get better with small steps.
The part after, "...both apply" was regarding Ian's neighbors.
Seriously - your neighbors let their kids play that late? If they are feral, it's time to get a leash.
I'm glad you're starting to find peace about it!
Post a Comment