It's Eric's Fault

So yesterday I'm talking to my buddy Eric. We go back a ways - like 30 years - and he tells me this sentence.

You should get on Facebook. It's not just 16 year olds - there are real grown-ups on it, and there's a group just for our high school band. As of this morning, I've reconnected with 21 old friends already. I gotta tell you - that's pretty cool, man. I've been on cloud nine since yesterday. But I've wondered - how much personal stuff do I put up there? How up-front with my addiction & struggles should I be? Fully known and fully loved is a great and wonderful thing, and I have absolutely nothing to hide anymore, but you don't have to go around advertising all your scars on sandwich board. I think I'll let God put it on my heart when I ought to share when and if it's appropriate, and be free enough to tell somebody, you know?

And, to be totally honest, I still really have to watch whose profiles I look at, or more appropriately, whose profiles have pictures I don't need to be checking out a second time. I already found one - yikes!

But I digress....

I've been downloading drum corp mp3's so I can practice and be all ready to play with 'em again on Oct 4th. I'm very excited!!!

We're adjusting to apartment life. This weekend I'm/we're gonna finish unpacking. Really. We're also going to convert to flushable kitty litter, too. So far the only gripe I've got is that I don't have the garbage "valet service" (aka trash pickup) down quite right just yet, but that's an easy fix.

I think the cats have completely adapted. They like to go outside and sit on the balcony, and are frisking and chasing each other around the place like mad. I wonder what our downstairs neighbors think - I'll bet is sounds like we're juggling softballs and mostly dropping them.

I got paid twice this week - O' glory be. Even a little means a lot, ya know?

Last night Medic T and I (finally) went to the Heroes of Denton County Banquet at TMS. It's a dinner to honor Law Enforcement, Fire & EMS workers. Our guest speaker was a former Navy SEAL, who told us of his experiences in Afghanistan. It was awe-inspiring and very, very humbling. He refuses to allow himself to be called a hero - instead he prefers patriot. Either way, it was just incredible. It makes you wonder what you're really made of, too.

Some days I miss being a cop, man. Sometimes I wonder if there's any way that I could still do it somehow; if there's a department that would be willing to give me a chance now that I'm a little older and a lot wiser. I think that's the only job I'd be willing to do aside from the one I'm doing now. I guess the way I see it is this - I'll bring it before God, and if He thinks it's a good idea, then I'll let Him put it in front of me. That would indeed be a miracle, man. We'll see what He does.

For the past few days I've been struggling with rationalizing. Without getting too graphic, I'd sure like a little release. I've caught myself telling myself why it's OK, and all the people I could justify it too, and all the reasons it'd be OK (really), but in the end, I'm just gonna white-knuckle it and turn it over to God. Hell, I've been fighting this battle every day for over two years - what's five more weeks? I can totally do this, or more appropriately, God can do it through me. I'm trusting Him that He's going to honor my (well, our) decision to honor Him and follow what I (ok....we) believe His will is for us. It's going to be a tough five weeks, though. It's tough now, living with somebody you're going to be married to in a short while, and having to stay celibate, even though all those desires and passions are natural and good and healthy and God-given. It's tough, man.

Really.

OK - what else? I'm making pinto beans & fried potatoes for dinner tomorrow night. It's the only no-meat meal I really love. I'm pretty excited about it, to tell the truth.

All right - when I get to my dinner plans for the weekend, it's time to wrap it up. I'm gonna go to the bank and make a deposit :-)

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