It was bound to happen

I lost the remote to the TV in the move. Dang, man. That's annoying as anything. Also annoying - trying to use a cheap set of rabbit ears in an apartment surrounded by metal. Fortunately, we only watch about an hour of TV a day, and it's all reruns so a clear picture doesn't matter so much.

I got a great nights sleep last night. I only woke up once, and fell immediately back to sleep. God bless modern chemistry. I feel much better today.

So far today has been relatively productive. Work is back on schedule. Materials came in yesterday (and woke me up.) Tests are being made. Debts are being paid off. All is again well at work.

Drum Corp practice is Sunday, and I'm really excited. I've been practicing, and I sound much better than I did this time last year. I'm even using a "real" mouth piece to play higher, and finally giving my "cheater" a rest.

So I've been on something called Facebook, and I've re-connected with a lot of old friends from high school. Something really odd, though....

When I was younger (and active in my addiction) I used to fantasize about other women constantly, including some of (if not all of) the women that I've become "facebook friends" with. I can say with 100% certainty that had I not gone through my recovery (and I count Pathways as a part of it) then I'd still be stuck in that same destructive rut, and still view them as objects to use to obtain my fix, and not people.

Now, they're (other men's) wives and mothers and sisters in Christ, and after years of thinking about them as objects, it feels strange to not view them that way. It's even stranger that my default is (now) not to view them that way. If you'd have told me at when I was high school, college, or even up until few years ago that I'd look at this collection of beautiful sisters in Christ and not be completely overwhelmed with lustful thoughts I'd have laughed at you. It was all I knew, ya know?

I know I'm much, much healthier now, and this is a much more normal and Godly way to view women - I get that, and I'm truly grateful and blessed to have the perspective I do now. But in a way it still feels strange - like I really don't know any of these women at all, and in a way, I don't. How sad is that?

Fortunately, it's an easy fix, and I'm looking forward to re-making some of those solid friendships I once had.

Oh - and for the record, there's plenty of my guy buddies on Facebook, too.

Just sayin'

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