I should have been working on wedding stuff.
Instead - I did neither.
So today I've spent the last three hours trying to chase down information that's none of my business to no effect whatsoever, and I can't find a damn thing despite my best efforts. I can't go to the source, so I don't know. I can't know, and in the end, it doesn't matter if or what I know or not because I can't do a damn thing about anything concerning it anyay, except let it go and go away.
My finacee isn't happy, and understandably so. I've now sent the message that this is more important than the wedding, and that's no good, and she's justifiably hurt by that. Truth be told, I'm sure it's rather undermining to the entire deal, you know - us getting married and all. So what's my problem here, man?
I'm not happy because I feel like I oughta be letting it go, and I'm having a hard time doing it, and I'm letting it hurt her, and I hate myself for not being able to reign it in better.
But still.......I want to know. Still. What happened? I just want to know everything (and everybody) is OK - that's all.
4 comments:
I have no idea what you are talking about.
But if it hurts the woman you love, and you really love her, you will stop. Or you don't love her.
Sounds harsh, I know. I read James today. Can't help it.
Treat it like your addiction - starve those thoughts.
I do love her.
And yeah - it's still the addiction, I guess.
But if it hurts the woman you love, and you really love her, you will stop. Or you don't love her.
By the way - it's never "just that easy", man. You ought to know better than that.
You're right. It isn't that easy. Take out the "Or you don't love her" I should not have said that. I know you love her a LOT and she you.
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