Well, since I'm up already

I had this thought over the weekend and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

Growing up, I got stuck on the idea that if you didn't go to a church that focused on teaching the Bible more than anything else then your church wasn't as good. I held on to that belief until I was 33. In retrospect, I think that attitude is kind of elitist, prideful and snotty.

Somehow, I glommed onto the concept that the church you attended had to have real, solid, theologically correct Bible teaching above all other things. Unfortunately, the result of this was mostly threefold; A) an abject intolerance for any other kind of church, music or worship style B) a complete lack of any emotional connection to God or His people and C) a huge pride problem thinking that your church was perfect and had no flaws of it's own, and that nobody else's church could be possibly as good, because they didn't have "real Bible teaching" because the sermons at other places were "topical" or "weren't deep enough" or didn't have any "real meat" in them.

Man - how obnoxious is that?

I think what I ended up with was a head full of Biblical knowledge that left me with no desire to read the Bible at all because I think I learned it all growing up in a church with real solid Bible teaching. On an emotional level, I think I already know what it says, and I'd have to argue that I probably do know (intellectually) quite a bit, though I've spent most of my life trying to be quite selective about which parts I opted to actually follow, and holding the rest of society in contempt for failing to either know as much good Bible teaching as me or for being such hypocrites for knowing but choosing not to follow. Appalling, right? But I have to admit I'm not a whole lot better than I used to be some days.

The church I go to know is probably more "topical" then my old one. But I like it more. I connect (emotionally) with the messages more. I think I grew up learning the Bible with the same mentality I had learning algebra. I think I have a good bit of technical, historical, and dogma catalogued away, but it's to my shame that I learned the emotional aspects of it so late. I guess it's a lament that I have.

Now, I'm not blaming the church for it; not entirely. I know a large part of this whole deal was my own pride, cowardice, weakness, and other self-defeating behaviors I learned about later on in life, and I own a lot of that, if not most of it. But I do have to mention that I have seen firsthand, on several occasions, the elitism that Christians seem to be able to share among each other in the holy huddles inside our church cocoons that we (our church) are better than they (another church) are because we have ___________ and they don't. Pick your poison. Teaching. Music. Missions. Small groups. Softball. Whatever, man - you see what I mean, right?

It doesn't leave much tolerance for God to work in, does it? It seems to me that God is bigger than the level of education that your senior pastor has, or how much theology, historical knowledge, Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic, Latin or ability to discern all the nuances contained in the the first few sections of the Septuagint (or how ever you spell it). Education is fine, man - don't get me wrong on that. But God's bigger than just book learnin'.

I think God uses the hearts of others to connect us to both Himself and each other. I think when we connect at a heart level, that's the stuff that sticks with us, and I missed out on that until the summer of 2005. Previously, the only real experience I'd had with real heart experience was on my first mission trip to Mexico in 2004, and that was a big deal to me. I try to stay in my heart a lot more these days, and not so much in my head. It's still hard sometimes, and I'm not sure how well I do at it all the time. I still have a tendency to shut down on occasion, or I have to struggle to not open my heart to the wrong things, at which times the head comes in handy.

Anyway, that's all I have for Monday. I'm off the next three days - I plan to enjoy them, and blog plenty.

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