OK - let me try that again.
I don't dislike you guys, nor do I find your opinions unimportant.
Let me share with you my criteria for talking to other people for a minute.
If you were to put the depth of your relationship on a scale of 1 - 10, where would it fall? To me, a "10" means that you know everything about the person, and that they know everything about you. They've given you permission to speak into their life, and you've given them permission to speak into yours. They are open and honest with you about everything, and you do the same. You have no secrets from them, no facade, no image you're trying to uphold, and the two of you connect on a heart level. There's no pride between the two of you, and it's a two-way street. Both of you communicate to the other on a heart level with complete honesty, with no discomfort at all. I do my best to tread very carefully when I'm going to try to speak something into somebody else's life, and mostly I try to decide if it's my place, if they'll listen, and most of all, have I earned the right to do that?
Guys, I'm only going to listen to folks who hit at eight of above. Today, there's ten of you, three of them were in my 12-step, two were in Pathways with me, one is my brother, one is Brian, and one is Toni, my wife. Before you decide to speak truth into my life or offer rebuke, especially from a Biblical perspective, please consider the kind of relationship you have with me before you open your mouth, especially taking into consideration that e-mail, texting, and blogging suck for conveying important information. Interpersonal communication is only about 10% verbal anyway, and all I have in front of me is a screen.
So, because Brian has that kind of relationship with me, and I trust him, and he's never lied to me, and he's stuck with me, and if he says I messed up, then I probably did.
Kim, I'm sorry. I evidently misinterpreted your comments rather badly. Based on your initial comment, I assumed that you thought I was referring to you and Nate in some way, and I wasn't. Please forgive me for speaking to you in such a harsh manner. I won't do it again.
What I probably should have said is that I dislike arguing here, and I'm generally short on time and I don't have the energy or desire to spend a lot of time here, aside from writing out my own thoughts. My life has been fairly "dramatic" for the past several years, and I'm guilty of being a drama king myself, but I don't have it in me anymore.
In reality, I do listen to your comments here, but I tend to weigh what you have to say against the kind of relationship we have, and the lower on the scale we are, the less I'm going to listen, and the lower the odds are of me trying to find the value in what you have to say, though at times an old codger will speak up and say something that has some value. Drop by anytime, Mike.
Do you guys remember Yoda? Somebody would post as Yoda here (I think it was twice). Good advice, generally, especially with girl troubles, which I've had in spades, mostly because I refused to put down the shovel.
Anyway, that's today's.
Still 533
3 comments:
It's difficult to talk about some of those hard subjects (ha) - especially ones that we Christians hold on to so tight to one viewpoint where we can't seem to bring ourselves to discuss. Not that that is directed to anyone here in particular at all - we all do it.
Moral of the story: stop bringing that dirty 'sex' business to your blog. Wait, no, that's not it. It's "Don't bend over in the potato patch, Granny.. You know them taters got eyes." Wait.. oh hell I forget.
Thanks for listening. I really did think you were smarter than what you seemed to be saying. *(; And I do consider you my brother from another mother.
One thing I found weird: you saying you don't like to discuss things. See, I feel like that's exactly wrong. You're not a typical over-intellectual debater, no, but I think you're a "closet" thinker/debater. I think you *do* enjoy the discourse on some level. I think that's one of the reasons why you post here at length because you have to express yourself about subjects you feel passionate about.
So there. What do you think about that? *(;
I apologize for commenting on the other blog post. I do not know you personally (found you through your brothers, who I do know) and should not have said anything. I will keep comments to myself from now on.
Ian. I didn't make the list and yet I still feel I have things to say, contribution which may be valuable. Therefore, with much hesitation, I bring your attention to...
When you tell people if they are not part of your inner circle, your Top Ten, you will not listen to them, you are devaluing what their influence/opinion/knowledge can do for you. Saying this keeps people from wanting to put themselves in a position of vulnerability by expressing their feelings.
Frankly, I don't care, it doesn't bother me one bit. But, I do care about you enough to remind you that sometimes the most precious insights, the most valuable lessons, the most incredible bits of knowledge come from those that are not in your inner circle. You won't be able to hear them if you close yourself off to them.
Just sayin'.
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