Getting the drop on Monday

So I'm going to write tonight (Sunday night) so you guys can read on Monday morning. I hope you guys had a good weekend. Good morning, by the way. I shall start with a few observations.

Lately I've caught myself sitting in front of the TV, knowing nothing good is on, and yet I don't get up. I start feeling myself get frustrated and angry. Upon further introspection, what I'm doing is flipping channels looking for something that I shouldn't watch, generally speaking, especially late at night. My wife has blocked all the channels that have the stuff I wanna see, or we don't subscribe to them at all, yet I'll still flip to them to read the description of the shows. I'll sit and think about what I think that would look like and flip to another channel, still looking for something, even though I know I've been cut off from it. I get a sense of frustration and pent-up angst when I'm denied it, even though the safeguards have been set up at my request. And I'll flip channels for hours, just hoping, but pretending I'm not hoping. If I stumble across something, I'll point it out to Toni, and I can then not watch it, because I feel better just knowing it's on, and knowing that I know where to find it. I don't know what else to say about it other than I just realized it's what I've been doing for a really long time. It's like since I can't actually look at anything that's unacceptable or falls outside my boundaries, that finding it is the next best thing., and I get a sense of relief from it. It's weird, but it is what it is. Lately I've just been turning off the TV and not watching it altogether, unless I have DVD to see. I'm tired of all the reruns anyway.

TV kills my sex drive. If I sit in front of the TV and watch it for longer than a minute or so, I'll lose whatever interest I may have had before I sat down. I figured that out a few nights ago. If I'm active all day or go cycling or shooting or something fun I'm fine, but TV just ruins it. Looking back, it's messed me up for a very long time. I'm starting to hate TV. Blogging is still OK, though. I feel like I'm thinking or processing, at least. It's more mentally stimulating that sitting still and achieving a lower consciousness.

We (Mom, Toni, our daughter and I) went to Turner Falls on Friday - that was fun. I lost my watch on the water slide, but that was the only bad thing that happened to me. It was that cheap one with the stinky band I couldn't get clean, so I'm not too upset. Toni twisted her ankle but she seems to be recovering pretty well. There's some pictures on her blog.

So last week I did something I'm starting to feel bad about for some reason, though I don't know why. Apparently there's a gizmo that you can stick on your blog and track who all reads your blog and where they come from. I pulled it off about 18 hours later, and it didn't tell me anything new or useful. To my way of thinking, it's not fair. I think you're entitled to a bit of anonymity if you want it. It's not going to be back. I think one of the things I like about blogging is you don't really ever know who reads it, and it doesn't seem fair or right to spoil that for anybody, including me. I hope all you guys keep reading.

I'm gonna eat some lemon pie and go to bed, I think. I don't have anything else to say and if I don't call it I'll start yammering about work, and nobody wants that, especially if it's not funny. I had a story about a kid at work, but I can't make it work.

Oh - and happy anniversary to my Mom and Dad. Today is their 40th Anniversary, I think. I might be off year or two, but it's a really long time, and they have an awesome achievement to be very proud of. Congratulations, guys. Here's to hoping I can match it. I hope we all can.

Have a cat. Or, in this case, I mean an otter.


502, for Monday.