Day Three

OK - here's what I've learned so far:

Part I - I think I need to read my Bible more.

Last night, my brother asked me this question:

"if you dread reading his word, you might ask yourself why that is."

So I did, and I came to this conclusion.

I think the Bible is boring - that's why I don't read it. I like fiction and good storytelling. Now I know that the Bible is chock-full of stories, but they're not as fun for me to read as Lonesome Dove. Secondly, I feel like I've heard it all already. I think I've heard it all taught before. I feel like I know what all the answers are, so I don't see the point in spending a lot of time reading something I find dull, predictable, repetitive, sappy, overbearing, and generally a waste of time. To me, it serves no point to spend time on it.

Now - don't give up on me yet. I read it anyway, and I got a different experience than I had expected. I didn't get some big spiritual awakening, but I sure felt more relaxed afterwards. Hey, man - I'll take that, ya know?

When I re-read my brother's post from yesterday, he also said this:

"You know what other people have told you it says. But you don't know. If you knew what it says you would want to read it more."

I have to admit, that's true.

I know what Dave DeWitt has told me it says.
I know what Bob Wilkins has told me it says.
I know what Charlie Oldenberg has told me it says.
I know what Woody Woodward has told me it says.
I know what Tim Stevenson has told me it says.
I know what Dave Semmelbeck has told me it says.
I know what Mike Messerli has told me it says.
I know what Brent McKinney has told me it says.
I know what Hank Hanagraff has told me it says.
I know what Chuck Colson has told me it says.
I know what Bob George has told me it says.
I know what Pat Robertson has told me it says.
I know what James Dobson has told me it says.
I know what Tony Evans has told me it says. (I should listened to him more)
I know what my brother has told me it says.
I know what Celebrate Recovery has told me it says.
I know what Toby Slough has told me it says.

You get the idea, right? But Brando has a point - I've spent right as jack squat reading it for myself, and I think I need to change that.

See, what I think I've done is equivalent to sitting in front of the TV, not turning it on, and then bitching when I don't get any information. Additionally, since I'm depending on TV to give me the directions that I need to live my life, I've been running around in circles a lot of the time trying to guess what I think the TV would tel me to do, or trying to do whatever anybody else tells me is on TV. I think if I turn on the TV, look at the screen and listen to whatever comes out of it, then I might be a little less frazzled.

That's good information to know.

Part II - I should stress less about serving

My friend Zach said this:

If someone can find a verse that says, "Make sure you find a place to volunteer at your local church," please post it, but I haven't seen one.

I've been running in circles for several days (or weeks) trying to figure out where I fit in, like there's some kind of Ian-shaped hole at my church I ought to fit perfectly into. So far, I haven't found that hole. But I think that's OK. I think God wants me to serve Him whenever, however, with whomever as I'm able and not worry so much about whether or not I'm doing "His Will". I don't think God sweats this as much as I have been lately, as long as I'm helping out when and where I can. I don't think I'm necessarily restricted or limited to serving at my home church, though I'll continue to look for someplace to serve.

Part III - God might use me differently than I think He will

My friend Brian said this:

"People told me when I was going through a rough patch that maybe He put me through that so I could minister to others in that situation. So far I haven't found that to be the case, really."

Hey - God may not use me to minister to divorced people or recovering addicts or broke people. I kind of expected that He would, but so far He hasn't. He might not, but I'm not going to worry about it any more - I'm just gonna trust Him.

Part IV - Joy does not come from service, but I think service comes from joy.

I think I need to work on getting the joy of my salvation back - then I don't think it's going to matter what or where I'm serving.

And I think odds are I can get a lot of that back from reading His word, which I can do, now that I have a reason I can wrap my head around.

Anyway, today's blog was really long - thank you for getting to the end of it. I hope some of this makes sense.

I'm kind of hungry, though. Did I learn enough to eat yet ;-) ?

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