Today is one of those days when you know that the only thing keeping you from complete and total failure is God, and I mean that about everything.

Today is one of those days when you know that you just couldn't handle it if it happened.

Today is one of those days where you've made your peace with failing and you're just waiting for the opportunity to present itself so you can get it over with.

Today is one of those days when what's right doesn't matter as much as what your emotions tell you you need.

Today is one of those days where you know that the devil is real, and he's got your number.

Today is one of those days when you have to call your sponsor and your accountibility brothers.

Today is one of those days when you realize that for every day you haven't been active in your addiction, it's been outside in the parking lot doing push-ups.

Today is a day when you realize that your enemy is cunning, baffling and powerful.

As you guys can see, today has not been a great day. I have dreams I don't like, I have thoughts I don't want, I have feelings I can't control, explain or rid myself of, and my landlord is just about ready to evict me, if she hasn't already done so.

And now is when I have to go pick up my beloved daughter, when I'm at my lowest, and I have to pretend to be happy so she doesn't know, because it's not fair or right to subject a seven-year-old to this kind of crap, and she needs her Daddy to be there for her.

Then I have to go to work after I drop her off. I'll get home at 3 or so if it's a good night. I'm telling you guys - being broke puts you in terrible cycles that are terribly difficult to break out of.

Some days are like this - even in Austrailia.

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