Monday, January 19, 2009

Be it known that I was up before 5:00 AM this morning



Of course, I can't actually do anything until after 8:00 AM, but I was awake. I hit a stopping point yesterday and I can't continue until I get more materials, which I can't do for a few more hours.

And, of course, it's MLK Day, which means no bank and no post office, so there's no hope of getting paid or paying anybody, either.

I just want credit for being up so late (or early), and for working a full eight hours on Sunday. Fortunately, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" was on AMC and we watched that. Before that we watched a show on what would happen the Earth if all the human suddenly vanished, and we also watched a special on cults (Heaven's Gate, David Koresh, Jim Jones, etc.) Satellite TV is cool, despite all the "make my weenie bigger" commercials. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Toni is working really hard to make the house feel like a home, and she's doing a great job. The cats are trying her patience, though, especially Oscar and Pumba.

Recovery is doing good - I haven't felt that stress or anxiety in a few days, and my addiction hasn't really reared it's head again since I had that bad few days recently. On a scale of 1-10 the worst it's gotten is a 2, and I'm really grateful for that.

I need to talk about taking on too much, meeting my obligations/keeping my commitments vs. maintaining my financial needs, and the family/career/ministry order of importance that's been troubling me. If I don't get it to it by Wednesday morning I want you guys to get on to me, because I really need to work this out.

And I also need to talk about how brushing my teeth is a perishable skill as well; I actually have an interesting (to me) theory on that.

And I need to talk about some issues I have about working, too: namely, if I don't put in at least 16 hours a day - every day - then I'm not meeting an expectation I hold for myself because I think my think it's what my Dad has for me, and I need to work out for myself what's necessary, what's healthy, what's working yourself to death, what works for him vs. what works for me, and what's more important; work, family, ministry, money, etc., and I need to figure out a way for me to be able to stop working without feeling guilty for stopping before everything is all done, or hell - even stopping at all. And I need to learn to not feel guilty for not working, either, and try to figure out a way to spend time with my family without being anxious about when I can get back to work, or for sleeping past 5 AM. So you guys hold me to this one, too, OK?

And pics will be sent today sometime.

OK - I'm gonna take a quick nap before I put in another day's work. Toni is, too.

337

1 comment:

Brandon and Jenny said...

Ok, looking forward to things. I think one of the issues is that you work at night whereas dad was asleep by 9:00 most days. So, he slept. You, do not.