Picking your fights

So, in yet another example of God's good timing, I got this today:

We can be good to people when they're good to us. That's easy. But God wants us to be good to people even when they're not good to us. You overcome evil with good.

"The tongue has the power of life and death..." ~Proverbs 18:21

Truth be told, as much as I like to fight, I really don't let my self get dragged into very much these days. I have a very, very short list of what I'm willing to fight over, and it seems like every day (or at least every week) there's something else that just doesn't make the list. My wife-to-be is catching this particular wave as well, it seems.

In the police academy they taught us that it always takes two to fight, and you can avoid a lot of fights by making it clear that the other person is on their own. In hand-to-hand combat, you have the option - right off the bat - to either penetrate or disengage. These days, unless it's a direct physical threat, I'm choosing to disengage more and more.

I think most of this comes back to control - isn't that what fighting is really all about? When you fight, you're trying to do one of two things: protect yourself or control somebody else.

One thing that recovery has taught me is this: I have no control over much of anything.

I can't control what other people choose to do.
I can't control what other people choose to say.
I can't control what other people choose to think.
I can't control what other people choose to hear.
I can't control what other people choose to _________. You see the pattern, right?

I can only control two things:

#1) What I choose to think
#2) What I choose to do.

Aside from that, I got nothin' - so I just don't have it in me to try to control what anybody else says, does, thinks or hears, and I also don't have it in me to get involved any more than I have in events that either don't involve me directly or that I have no control over.

I also have a choice as to whom I choose to fight with, and whom I shall allow to get under my skin. These days I liken most situations to a dog barking at you from behind a fence. There's no point in trying to explain to the dog that I have a right to walk in this sidewalk - the dog either doesn't care or doesn't understand. Secondly, the dog is behind the fence, and can't really get at you. However, when and if the dog comes out from behind the fence, then it's a real problem and the fight needs to be on, and it needs to be ended quickly.

And for the record, I am not calling anybody a dog, implying that anybody is a dog, comparing anybody to a dog, or otherwise attempting to defame somebody or anybody in any way. It was just an analogy, OK? Good Lord - it was the first animal I could come up with that tends to be a nuisance on occasion. If it makes you feel better, you can a use a bear or tiger or a bunny or any other animal you like in whatever enclosure you feel is appropriate.

Anyway, that's it today. Here's to critters staying where they belong and not fighting about stupid things and not letting stupid things get you down, huh?

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