I originally wrote some "weekend in haiku" fluff, but I don't want to take anything away from what I think I'm going to end up saying, so I deleted it. It was lame haiku anyway.

Somewhere between Toni talking to me about seeing a buddy of hers (with her kid) and an episode of "The Office" tonight, I came to the unavoidable conclusion that I want a kid of our own. I'm 37, man.

Oddly enough, my Mom's "suggestions" and my buddies and - oh yeah - my brother punching out kids like movie tickets wasn't what pushed me over the edge, and I don't feel like I have to compete with them or anything like that. Don't get me wrong - it's always been our plan to have kids. But we, in theory, have somewhat of a plan we'd like to stick to if at all possible; a plan that includes A) getting to really enjoy some fun, romantic, quality couple time together - like maybe a honeymoon or a few date nights that aren't Taco Bell and a free dollar movie - before our lives become permanently enmeshed with a new life we've created and are responsible for B) being able to survive on our own and C) having our own place. So far, we're on like Negative Q in the plan phase, and babies can get expensive.

I know some of that stems from a desire to try to control most of my situations as best I can, and I know there's no perfect time to have a baby, and if a baby comes along it'll be a wonderful thing and a great blessing from God. I get all of those things - I do. I suppose that I feel that in all reality, though, I don't know how well I'll be able to take care of that particular blessing.

I also have some stuff that cannot be "unpacked" here, too. To do so would be terribly, terribly inappropriate and disrespectful. I'm gonna have to deal with that on my own. Sorry about that one - I'm only mentioning it here at all because if I write it down then it forces me to deal with it, even if it's in private. I mean - I wrote about it - I can't just pretend like I didn't, ya know?

Meh - that's it. I want a baby but I feel like now it a bad time. I know that God is going to take care of that baby even if I don't see how, but I feel like I need to do my part and be the best, most responsible father I can be and not half-ass it.

Anyway, here's the only haiku that was any good.

New tactical stock
An early Valentine's Day
My wife is the best

714 for Monday

Oh - and the dryer works again.