Have you guys ever seen those blogs where the person talks to a bunch of people but never says who they're talking to, and so you're left to A) either try to figure it out on your own or B) just accept the mystery? Those are awfully tempting to write sometimes, though thoroughly unproductive and childish. But hey - nobody ever accused me of being mature, so, in no particular order, here we go.

Just when I think you can't possibly be more of a characterless, reprehensible douchebag, you find a way. You should be sterilized immediately, and removed from society, and God willing, your one redeeming quality will have nothing to do with you.


I don't think it's possible for you to be more screwed up. If you were any more self absorbed you'd be a black hole.


You have to admit you have a serious problem, man. I can't do it for you, but if you don't quit dicking around and start taking it seriously, you're going to further alienate and lose the ones you lose the most. You are not fooling nearly as many people as you think, especially me. I know what you're doing, because I've done it, and I know where you're headed, because I've been there, and I can't stop you from ending up in the only destination that lies before you until you decide to stop it for yourself.


I hope you get the help that you need, man.


I have never been prouder of you, and I am still able to stand proudly by every good thing I've ever said about you. You deserve all the best, and every great and wonderful thing God has in store for you.


Good. Freaking. GAWD. Wake the hell up. Snap out of it. If you were any more passive you'd be a corpse. Get moving - it's time.




OK - I feel better.

Don't bother trying to figure it out - it's nobody you know.

712, for Saturday.