Day Off Dilemma

What do you do on your day off? I generally have Mondays and Tuesdays off, and there's always things to do I feel like I *should* be doing. I feel like I ought to be doing self-employment stuff right now. Odds are I'm going to do it tomorrow. I just wanted one day where I did absolutely nothing of value and accomplished nil. My body clock is still pretty much useless, as it's 2:50 AM and I'm still wide awake. How productive to have a natural sleep pattern that has you awake between the hours of 2 PM and 4 AM, and generally useless to the outside world otherwise.

I have a lot to do tomorrow if I choose to be productive. The Bronco needs brake work. I have orders to fill. The house needs cleaning. We're trying to see a movie tomorrow. I dislike having stuff to do on my day off. It feels like a never-ending cycle, man. It'd be nice to have - literally - nothing to do, but I suppose that's probably never going to be the case, huh? That makes it hard to go on vacation, too. I tend to think about all the work I could be getting done if I wasn't being lazy. I know I've ruined a lot of moments that way.

I saw on FoxNews that somebody made a sex robot. I have to confess that there was a time in my life that would have sounded pretty good if it was a good enough robot. I'd like to sound "normal" and say how weird and unhealthy it is, but let's face it - there's a lot of people that are going to want one, and if I start taking holier-than-thou or judgemental comments about how weird and sick those people are to be wanting to have sex with a robot, that would just make me a jerk, man. Jesus loves people that would have sex with robots.

I don't know what kind of a mood I'm in tonight. Maybe the music I'm listening to is getting to me. I've been listening to "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables. It makes me sad, but it sure is beautiful. It's the song that Susan Boyle sang on "Britian's Got Talent" a few years ago - the lady that nobody took seriously but that awed the audience with powerful, soaring performance. That one always gets me - it's always pretty heartwarming to see somebody get some long-deserved recognition and to see somebody's dream come true, especially when it's captured on film.

Tonight, as with most nights, poor Toni is sitting up waiting for me to finish writing this. I know I'm keeping her up. Ar first, my first reaction is to feel smothered and get bent about it, but if I go deeper, I'm just being a disrespectful and taking advantage of my wife's kindness. She doesn't want to go to bed without me, because she values me, and she values our relationship. She doesn't want to go to bed without me, or let that distance and separation be created. I'd have given a finger for that kind of attention in my first marriage. It bothers me to think that I'm still doing some of the same crap I did the first time; sitting up late at night on the computer for no other reason than I want to, and not really thinking about how it impacts my relationship with my second wife. What does that say about me? Nothing good.

So, in an effort to do something different, and not continue to make the same mistakes a second time, I'm going to wrap this up, because it's the right thing to do, and spending time with Toni is more important that anything I think I have to say tonight.

683