I don't put enough pictured of guns here. I sure like me some firepower.



This one is also cool. And a bargain at only $240, too. I had no idea Norinco made a coach gun, and there's not nary a gun that's faster to deploy.

I was really, really depressed yesterday and last night, but I couldn't figure out a reason why. I managed to ruin a date night with Toni, too. I still don't know why, either. All I know is I took some of an anti-depressant, an anti-anxiety, a sleep aid and slept way too much today, though I felt a little better, especially after I ate dinner. Toni and I fought yesterday and today, but I think we're OK now. I don't consider her feelings enough, and there's a distinct possibility that I turn develop a very short fuse into an ass when I don't eat enough, or I don't get enough sleep. Of course, there's also a larger, more likely explanation, and that's just that I tend to be a selfish ass all on my own anyway, and I don't say I'm sorry enough. I feel pretty good tonight, though.

Toni said today that I worry too much about who reads this blog, and that I still wrote to folks I ought not to. I know I've used this blog to communicate in the past, and I think for a second I've fooled anybody, really. What do you guys think? Am I doing that?

I blog because I can't bring myself to keep a journal, because I feel like keeping a journal is the same thing as keeping a diary, and only girls keep diaries. If I don't actually publish this blog, then I'm just typing into a journal I keep on the computer, which means I keep a diary, which means I must be a girl. I know it's kind of stupid, but it's how I feel.

Anyway, it's three AM and I'm WIDE awake. There's a zombie movie on, and I'm watching it, much to Toni's dismay. I had to tel her that I used to have a crush on one of the ladies in it (Victoria Pratt) back when I was first married back in 1999 or so, but that I had forgotten about it until now. She has forgiven me, though I've decided not to pay as much attention as I was earlier once I realized who I was watching. There's an interesting twist in that the virus can be transmitted through mosquitoes, and parental discretion is advised. It also makes me realize how little ammo I actually have on hand in case of a zombie attack, which I find a bit distressing. I'm about 49,900 rounds short of what I want. My next project may be to develop a Zombie Threat Matrix that can be used to quickly and easily identify how dangerous they really are. I have a lot of time to think at my jobs. Also get a good, long sword.

Dad bought a lottery ticket for us, but I don't think we won.

I fell asleep in the recliner after dinner, after consuming two monster bacon cheese burgers and a pile of Toni's home-made fries. Delicious, even if I do say so myself. The bar had it's company Christmas party tonight, but I didn't go. I don't want to see all my co-workers drunk

Meh - that's it, I guess. I have one more day off and I'm going to try and actually enjoy it. Maybe I've been so stressed out that I just flat-out need two days to actually unwind before I can enjoy a real day off.

Or something like that, huh?

I haven't had a real vacation in several years. I went tubing for a weekend once back in 2005, but I fought with the person I was with for about half of the trip, so I can only count about half that weekend as a fun time, though to be fair, the fun parts were great. That was the last vacation of any kind I've had, though, and before that it was 2000 that I had a vacation that wasn't completely stressful. Toni and I have never had a vacation together, save for a day trip one time, and a week-long mission trip where we worked about 12 hours a day. To me, vacation = more than 5 consecutive days with no agenda, at least five hours away from my residence. It involves a boat or a plane, so much the better, and I have to sleep someplace I pay for. I also don't cook myself anything, and I don't go alone. I think we're due for one, ourselves.

Anyway, I've rabbit trailed enough, and now it's 4 AM. Have a cat.



656, for Wednesday