Let's re-open some old wounds one more time.....

So last night Clara came over, and I told her everything. And yeah - I mean everything. I think there's precisely three of you who know what everything means. And yeah - I told her about that. And that, too. And that. And it only took me about an (excruciating) hour to get it all out.

Hey - fully known and fully loved, right? If you're not going to have any secrets, you're not going to have any secrets.

She took it pretty well, I think. Let's face it - none of anything I had to say last night is easy to take. And I'm not going to post anything I told her here, either, so you guys don't have to worry about that. I believe she's going to be taking a little while to process all of it, which I completely understand, respect, and I'm proud of her for. I'm going to respect whatever decision she decides to make, too, because she, of all things, is worthy of my respect.

I always said that I just can't live in the darkness anymore, and it looks like I really can't. The past week my gut has been in knots. Today it feels like I've been throwing up all night, but I feel a lot more peace about it (as well as the return of my serenity), and I'm going to trust that God knows what He's doing and that He's going to work something out that I'll like, even if I don't know what it is. It's either the calm after the storm, or the fire going out because all that's left to torch is the foundation, and those just don't burn.

And I think Zach put it best - just worry about what I'm doing and don't sweat the rest of it quite so much. Thanks, man - I needed that.

And I need to remember to take it one day at a time, too. We've only been together for about three months - I think I was putting a little too much pressure on both of us.

I think that's about all for today. I'm a little drained.

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