What I Think About Being Gay - Part II

Nature vs. Nurture and some other stuff....

I don't know for sure what "turns" folks gay. I know that there's arguments that it's a biological factor, or that it's result of childhood conditioning, childhood trauma, childhood abuse, and / or that it's a behavioral issue of some kind. Fact is, I don't know for sure, and I don't think anybody really does for sure. I don't think that there's one single factor that you can point to and say "that's it".

I think that often times the Christians are the ones that seem to have the biggest problem with it. I'd like to remind my fellow Christians of a few things.

You can't hold anybody accountable to God's laws if they're not Christians. Non- Christians can drink, swear, gamble, and screw whomever they want whenever they want. They're not held accountable to our standards, folks. Are we held accountable;e to the Muslim's standards? Nope - because we're not Muslims, and I'll wager they think they're right, too. This principle applies in all things that are specific to the core beliefs of Christian Theology, too. I think most of the world isn't Christian (as we define it) and we ought to remember that we are called by God to be salt and light and show His love for everybody instead of trying to be His little judges. So, if you ever run into a gay non-christian, how about trying to show 'em a little of God's love for them first (Because guess what? God loves gay people!) instead of telling them they're going to hell for being gay?

And regarding that pastor Fred Phelps and his congregation of cronies (that crowd that protests at the funerals of soldiers killed in the line of duty and murdered gay man Matthew Shepherd holding the "God Hates Fags" signs).....you guys are just plain assholes hiding behind a Bible.

I know that there are organizations (largely Christian-based, I think) that are primarily concerned with "bringing gays home", for lack of a better term. If I understand correctly, their basic tenet is that God didn't create folks to be gay, and that with the proper coaching, counseling, and/or spiritual guidance, they can "convert" them back to being straight. I know that there are many success stories of people who have previously been gay and have either returned to heterosexuality or converted to heterosexuality, having never been "straight" in the first place.

Man - I don't know where I land on this.

As a recovering sex addict, I know that sexual behavior can be controlled. I know firsthand from my own experience that sexual impulses, habits, triggers, desires and thoughts can be controlled - even ones that are considered unusual, abnormal, unhealthy or even deviant by most folks - but only if there's no extra-curricular pathology (biological factors) at work.

See - I think overall I am (and always have been) a fairly "normal" guy. I haven't had that any kind of strong sexual draw towards other guys - I just never did. I guess God didn't make me that way.

Ah-HA! Now we're on to something. How did God make us - really?

Now - let's take a minute on this one.

Did God make me an addict? Hrm - yes, and no.

Yes - God had a plan for my life that involved me working through an addiction and going through recovery so that I could that story of My experiences with God to show His love, His kindness, and His mercy in my own life, and to bring that good news to others. I firmly believe that with all of my heart, both emotionally and intellectually.

No - God didn't make me an addict, meaning that God didn't give me a genetic predisposition that might lead to addiction. Or depression. God doesn't make deformed kids. God doesn't make children with Downs Syndrome, Autism, blindness, deafness, fistulas, port-wine birthmarks, or two sets of genitals.

Horseshit.

I have no fewer than five recovering addicts (including me) on my mom's side of the family, and I don't know how many cases of clinical depression. Genetically, that predisposition runs in the family, man. There's no getting around that. And I have a family history of cancer, diabetes, and heart disease, too. Did God make us that way? Are we created in His image in that way? Does God have Depression, Autism, or Cancer?

Nope.

I'm going to chalk this one up to the Fall, as in the Fall of Man from God's Original Intent. If you look at basic human anatomy, I think there's a very strong case that God's original intent was quite obviously not for us to function sexually as with members of the same sex. Gay folks can't physically procreate, and I'd say the vast majority of folks don't have gay tendencies.

I think that being gay falls under the same umbrella as most of the other things that we don't necessarily like but that we can't explain why.

Hurricanes. Tsunamis. Cancer. Depression. Retardation. Deformity. Addiction.

I don't think that God had any intent for this stuff to be around originally, man. But I think that once Man told God "I can do this without You" the world became a place filled with stuff that God didn't originally have in mind for us - stuff that would end up being beyond our control.

I don't think anybody can control where a Tsunami hits.
I don't think anybody can control who gets cancer.
I don't think anybody can control if they're genetically predisposed to be an addict.

And I don't think anybody can control whether or not they have a gay "bent".

I think more than anything we as Christians tend to focus on the behavior of Gays, hold it up against scripture, see it doesn't line up, and point the mean finger at 'em and tell 'em how wrong they are instead of focusing on the person inside the behavior and the love that God has for them.

And let's face it - it makes us feel good.
It lets us say "Well, at least I'm not doing that."
It lets us look up at God and say "See? Look at what I'm not doing."

It makes us feel better about ourselves, because we generally immediately assume that God's more pleased with us for what we're not doing rather than what we are doing. I know I learned that growing up in church, especially at church camp. Yet we forget that by God's standards, we've all blown it way beyond anything we can salvage on out own.

Moses
King David
Paul the Apostle
Martin Luther
Billy Graham

They all blew it, man. That's why we need God.

Anyway, my point here is that I honestly believe that a large portion of gay folks (perhaps the majority; the ones that have the genetic predisposition) have little or no control over how their minds naturally function, and what's attractive to them sexually. It's not that they're "diseased" in some way or mind-numbed robots (far from it) but that in the same regard that we "straight" folks have our laundry lists of predispositions that we were born with, they have them as well - they're just different from ours.

So imagine this, all you straight people. Take every molecule of sex drive you've ever had, and imagine that it's focused on the same gender, and it feels 100% completely natural to you, and that the thought of having sex with a member of the opposing gender is completely appalling to you - much like the though I'm sure most of you have about having sex with a member of the same gender.

Now- obviously this falls apart quite a bit if you believe that being gay is caused my nurture or a dominating mother or a gender confusion issue of some kind; which essentially asserts that you think it's how you're brought up or it's based on what happens to you. I think there's something that can be said for that, but I don't think you can counsel your way out of biology. I think trying to counsel your way out of a biological issue is like trying to talk you way out of cancer. And no - I'm not equating being gay with having cancer, so please don't think that.

OK - more tomorrow. My hands are tired.

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