This week has presented its own series of challenges. It has not been overly pleaseant.
I have to borrow money from my parents, which I hate beyond measure. Our little company has not seen a paycheck since December 19th. It's been freezing cold outside, and today I ran out of gas. Tomorrow I'm going to have to borrow more money so we can eat this weekend and get the car home from the parking lot, which is about a mile away. I know because I had to walk it - in 35 degrees. My song this week has been "The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash.
You know what, though? I don't accept my position. I don't accept being broke. I don't accept that God has a life of poverty and need before me and my family. I think - no, I beleive - that God has better in mind for me than that. You know why? I have two reasons.
#1) God says he has plans for me, plans for good and not to harm me. He has promised me an abundant life, man - I have zero intention of accepting less because somebody else told me that is my lot, of that poverty is in and of itself morally superior to wealth. I'm not OK with being broke, and I don't think God intends for me to be. If you show me the verse in the Bible where it says God says it's good to be poor anfd that he wants his children to be poor I'm willing to listen.
#2) God doesn't play favorites. Why would God say He wants me to be poor and somebody else rich? To me that's akin to wanting one of your kids to win the lottery another live in a shack. Don't (healthy) parents love their kids equally? And isn't God like our Father? Does He not want the best for His children?
I've spent most of life afraid to speak goals aloud because I've been terrified that I won't meet them, and that'll mean that A) I'm a failure or, worse yet, B) God is a failure or He's keeping me down.
You know what, though? I don't think God is a failure, and I don't think He's been keeping me back - I think I've been doing it to myself for most of my life. So - I'm gonna sit down with Toni and figure out what my goals are, that don't include being broke, and then I'm gonna speak it out loud and probably post it here.
I'd say what's the worst thing than can happen, but some of you folks would start making a list, so you guys keep your opinions to yourself. We've had enough death and condemnation and despair and poverty spoken over us, and I'm refusing to have any more of it sent our way.
2011 is going to be a spectacular year for me and my family.
6 comments:
GO for it! Make goals! Write them out. Post them on the wall. Lay them before the Lord and ask Him to bless your plans. Do it. Do it today! Do it now!
And above all, "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you."
Trust the Lord, Ian. Plan and step out in faith. I can't wait to see what 2011 brings for you and your family.
God loves you; we love you. Never doubt that. Make those plans and goals and work toward them. Work those plans like God does not care - but knowing full well that he does.
I too, think this will be a great year for you and Toni. Make it so, son.
dad
Hi Ian - this is Jenny.
"#1) God says he has plans for me, plans for good and not to harm me. He has promised me an abundant life, man - I have zero intention of accepting less because somebody else told me that is my lot, of that poverty is in and of itself morally superior to wealth."
Right on. Poverty is not morally superior to wealth just as wealth is not morally superior to poverty.
"#2) God doesn't play favorites. Why would God say He wants me to be poor and somebody else rich? "
Exactly. Which is why a fat belly or a hungry one is much more often a factor of a man's effort, a man's willingness to take responsibility, his choices, but probably more influential, the country of his residence.
Should you be ok with what you call poverty because it is more holy? No. That is ridiculous and your call to show you scripture to support such a claim is appropriate. Should you strive for more because God in heaven has given you some promise of wealth, (and I'm not saying that you are doing that...but many people do...calling it the prosperity gospel) is equally as ridiculous.
It seems that God calls us to do our best at everything, working as though we are working for Him and not for the praise/treasures of man. It seems that He has set up natural consequences for our choices. It seems that God made you, Ian, with many gifts and talents and abilities, and that you are called to use them and use them to their full potential. And I have no doubt that you have fantastic potential.
As far as my comment to Robby regarding being content with what God has for me...that comes from two things:
1st - we feel that God has called us to the mission field in Guatemala which entails certain sacrifices (wealth, being near family, central heat and air, etc.) It is what we chose based on a calling that we felt for our lives.
2nd - "But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Tim 6:6-10
Money is not bad, but the pursuit of it over the pursuit of Godliness is. If it weren't for God's blessings on money and resources, we couldn't be here...I'm not vilifying money or a desire to have enough. Just want to offer my perspective.
Whoa - I meant no offense, I promise.
I'm not arguing what you believe nor am I - in any way - speaking condemnation over you guys, nor am I saying that you're wrong, or that you guys aren't smack in the middle of what God wants for you, doing His will, in His way, under His provision.
I also gert the legal/visa reasons you guys can't do it - no problem there.
You're 100% by me, and I have ZERO problem with what you said yesterday. I thought you did a great job standinng up for your convictions.
MY situation is *wildly* different than that of your family - you guys have to do what's right by YOUR family, not by me or anybody else. I'm just speaking for ME and MY situation, and not anybody else.
*I* haven't been called to be a missionary in Guatamela, so I can't speak to what's best for your family - that's 100% your call, and it's certainly not mine.
Again - I meant no offense.
Jenny again: haha! No worries, Ian. I wasn't the slightest bit offended. I knew that you weren't referring to us in your post...I wasn't trying to make my comment about me. I just wanted to add commentary to what you wrote. geez, if I cam across offended, then I really missed the mark in writing what I wrote! Haha! Love you guys!
Just chiming in here with something I've experienced in my life...something to maybe help you expand your thoughts in the area "does God play favorites".
Maybe I've already told you about this...sorry if I'm repeating myself. This is the biggest lesson that God has taught me in my life and I want to share it with others who are suffering...
There was a time in my life where I struggled with this one...when we were trying so hard to have a baby. I saw pregnant girls everywhere! I saw my friends have their 1st baby, then their 2nd, sometimes a 3rd even, with us having 0...big ol' goose-egg = (
Here's what it felt like to me: imagine a table full of kids at a birthday party. The host (God) starts handing out cake. The first kid gets a big piece. The 2nd kid gets 2 pieces. The 3rd kid gets 5 pieces. I'm next...I can't wait to see what I'm getting!
I get none. The kid after me gets 3 pieces. "uh, God, I think you forgot me...I got skipped" Yes, yes you did...for a reason...trust me.
All around the table...I'm the only kid that didn't get a single piece of cake. Was I bad? Did I displease God somehow? Jimmy misbehaved horribly and he still got 2 pieces of cake!!! (my emotional mind related this to the obviously VERY young girl, pregnant, with her scuzzy boyfriend buying beer and cigs at Wal-mart).
How could this be fair? Didn't God love me? Didn't He want to do what was "right" and give me a baby too? Petey would make a GREAT dad...we could certainly do a better job than some other parents we heard about in the news...why give them a baby and not us??? This doesn't make any sense!!
God is God and I'm not. Only He gets to decide what is fair, right, and loving. My job is to simply trust and try to not sin in my disappointment, hurt, jealousy, anger, etc.
This was many years ago...I'm perfectly content with our situation now. I have very few moments when it hits me again and they don't last long. Many of our friends are now becoming grandparents. "Oh yeah, that's another thing we'll never be..." But that sadness blows through my mind and I don't dwell on it.
God has blessed Petey and I in many ways that would not have been possible with kids...namely the amount of time that we have to focus on each other. Sure, He has denied us the blessings that come with having a child but He has not withheld all blessings. He's given us special blessings that only come with NOT having a child!
I know that you are in the thick of it right now and I'm speaking from the other side of it. But I was once in the thick of it too and I just want to encourage you to hang in there, keep trusting God, let Him decide what is fair, right and loving for you and accept the blessings that come with His will.
I hope this hasn't added to your hurt or frustration... I do care about you and Toni and ALL your family!!
Still praying faithfully...
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