Well, I figure I'd post something happened a few nights ago, mostly because it's kind of funny now that I know I've avoided serious injury.

Sunday evening I had a delightful dinner with my family at Mooyah's in Flower Mound. After dinner, Toni and walked down the steps and along the storefront sidewalk to see if there was a puppy in the window of a dog salon a few doors down. There was not.

In a fit of flirty girlishness, Toni goosed me on the way back to the car and sprinted up the sidewalk. I, of course, gave chase, and thus began the evening's misfortune.

As Toni ran down the sidewalk, she displayed her athletic prowess and cleared the steps in a single step without touching the handrail. As I closed the distance, I realized that in a step or two I would be unable to clear the steps without colliding with her. In a split second decision, I decided that I would need to jump the on the opposite side of the handrail as Toni. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to adequately asses the topography before I was fully committed to what would become an utterly irreversible action.

I would like to blame the ensuing problem on the glare from the sodium-arc parking lot lights, but in the end I really don't know how I missed it. the only thing I saw was a concrete step to the left of the handrail, and I was certain I could clear it without difficulty. Turns out, I was correct, but only in this one single element of the equation. What I failed to notice was the vertical rail that ran at waist level directly across the path I had chosen.


As you can clearly see, it's an invisible rail.

Now, as most of you folks know, Toni and I are huge proponents of Advocare, and both of use the products religiously. I think I've been very vocal as a staunch advocate of the company, the products, and the life-changing results we (and thousands of others) have experienced through our exposure to this company and their products. While the tremendous energy I've re-discovered is my personal favorite result, the secondary (and most obvious) result is a pretty substantial weight loss of 20 lbs, mostly around my midsection.

Now, while I do enjoy seeing a much flatter stomach in the mirror every morning, in this particular instance it backfired rather badly. See, before Advocare I had a nice 20 lb pillow that worked quite nicely to absorb any blows to my abdominal section, and now, alas - it was gone, and subsequently unable to protect me from the rapidly approaching steel rail bearing down on my gut like a baseball bat.

Because I was a full leap at the point of impact, my position was elevated several inches. Resultingly (is that a word?) I caught the rail about three inches below my ribcage. Fortunately, I was spared an almost certain cracked ribcage, proof that God watches out for fools and children. The impact, however, was still terrible.

Toni heard the collision and turned to see my glasses continue forward as I stopped, flying off my face and skittering to a stop on the sidewalk. Both of my feet came off the ground and in my mind I might have touched my toes a little as I was folded across the bar like a sideways facing "U". I did manage to keep from falling all the way to the ground, and it took me a few moments to realize that A) there was indeed a rail and B) I had run directly into it at full speed. I also might have had a very short conversation with the Almighty, though further discourse was cut short, as I had knocked the wind out of myself as well. I think my first words were "Don't touch me."

Now, though I would have a sore, bruised and swollen midsection for a few days, I was able to realize how absolutely hilarious that would have been to see. Once Toni, my Mom, our daughter and her cousin realized I was indeed OK they relaxed a bit, but I don't think anybody thought it was as funny as I did. Evidently it wasn't as funny as it was in my head, I still got the giggles later on, though it hurt a bit to laugh.

Anyway, I ran into a rail the other night, and I'll bet it would have been pretty funny to see.

Have a cat!