Saturday was a really good day. Toni and I got a lot of necessary errands run, and we had fun doing it. I got another wedding band. (I got the biggest one I could find. It's more comfortable than the last one) She got some new clothes that she desperately needed. I got 200 rounds on clearance at Cabelas, and we tried a new BBQ place called Hard Eight over in Coppell. It was really good.

Having a good day on Saturday was good as I almost quit my theater job on Friday. Have you guys ever had a boss that wouldn't let you actually do anything yourself, and had to meddle and interfere with whatever it is you're doing at the time, thereby actually increasing the time it's going to take you to complete the task?

The best comparison I can come up with it somebody asking you to write your own name, and then trying to take the pen away and write your name for you. Then, once you establish that you really can write your own name and he agrees to let you write it all by yourself like a big boy, he takes the pen out of your hand and shows you how to make all the letters, one at a time, before giving the pen back to you. I'm here to tell you that I've just about reached the end of my rope on that, man, especially when I've only gotten an $.86 raise in the past year, and I'm making less than I pay the people who work for me. I have a dollar amount that I require to be that badly micro-managed, and the pittance I'm making there isn't even halfway. I have very little pride left, but I'm fairly determined to the little amount I've managed to retain.

At any rate, it's aggravating, and if I can find another job where I can either make more money or not be micromanaged quite so much I'm gonna take it. I'm looking, man - I'm looking.

And yes - I know I'm lucky to have a second job at all. But if you have a job, I think you're entitled to little complaining every once in a while when there are elements that you find aggravating.

It's hard to remember all the good things that God has done for you sometimes, like how once He speaks something into your life, whatever He speaks becomes, because when God speaks, He creates. On the few times I've heard God speak to me, He's made things in me that have changed me; changed my heart and my soul in profound ways. he's reminded me that His kingdom can be here on earth, and that we don't have to wait until we die to experience some of it here. Our pastor was asking us if we'd live our lives any differently if we knew that God (or Jesus) was standing right beside us, and of course, we would - forgetting that the Holy Spirit is with us always. It's so easy to forget sometimes, especially when your boss is driving you nuts. It's tough to imagine Jesus standing by the projector with his hands in His pockets watching the scene unfold, but isn't that the reality we live in? Something to think about anyway, huh?

I'm doing OK recovery-wise. Last week (Thursday, maybe?) I had a night where I was wanting to fail and cash it all in, but I didn't. I'm feeling better as of late. Feeling better may be due to some of the things that we're learning about in counseling, like some of the wounds I suffered in the divorce; defense mechanisms that erected themselves as survival mechanisms, stuff that's messed up a lot for me ever since, stuff I couldn't see and didn't know existed. While I don't regret where I am now, it's hard not to look back and feel some sadness for the hurts that were caused by those things that were created in me as a result of being left. Sometimes I still have a hard time knowing how to deal with that late at night, or when I'm alone, still trying to process some of the feelings of loss I still feel from time to time. More time to pass, huh?

Anyway, I guess that's it. It's too late in the night for me to play the celebrity game, but I'll get on it tomorrow.

823 for Monday.