Tales from Sales - Part I

After four weeks of correspondence through phone calls and e-mail, this customer finally made an appointment to come to return to the dealership and evaluate a car. My notes from the experience read accordingly.

He simply could not decide on a car. The primary factor that seems to be whether or not his wife will become car sick while riding in the vehicle, and this appears to be largely contingent upon the size of the dashboard and the angle of the windshield. Of course, his wife could not be persuaded to attend the appointment, nor be otherwise present to actually offer any input, thereby leaving both of at somewhat of a disadvantage. I offered a test drive several times so that he could more accurately asses the various features of the car not related to the potential nausea his spouse may experience, but he advises that that all other considerations are secondary to how sick his wife may or may not get.

After learning that we did not have a 2010 model year of his specified vehicle on the lot, he proclaimed that that he would like to purchase a 2010 model of this particular car, but we have none in stock. Of course, had he chosen to actually purchase the car six weeks ago, he would have been able to select from a variety of colors and trim levels, but alas - he who hesitates is stuck buying from dealer inventory. I am uncertain if this was some sort of negotiation tactic, but if so it is of dubious efficiency.

He also expressed interest in an 2011 Limited trim package with cloth seats, and/or a  2011 GLS preferred package with fog lights and a sunroof. Unfortunately, neither of these options are compatible trim packages and therefore do not exist, thereby greatly reducing his purchasing options and placing him  at a further disadvantage. I briefly considered expounding upon the issues particular to cleaning both cloth and leather seats, but thought better of it.

After spending no less than half an hour in the blazing hot parking lot explaining to me (in great detail) the subtleties and nuances of each vehicle he had considered, including the one that we do not have, cannot get and are therefore incapable of selling to him, it became evident to me that I can offer him no assistance whatsoever, as he had absolutely no questions about any vehicle on the lot, didn't want to test drive, discuss financing, or otherwise engage in any activities pursuant to actually purchasing a vehicle.

Ostensibly he'll be getting back to me when he determines his wife's proclivity to motion sickness relative to surface area,  geometry and general overall angles of visibility respective to the interior of said vehicles.

I swear - I am not making this up.

Have an owl.