What do you do when you get mad at something or somebody, only to figure out that you're not really mad at them (or at that), and yet you cannot figure out a way to alleviate that anger?
Forgive that person? For what - they didn't do anything wrong to you or anybody else, so I feel like there's nothing to forgive. Release it? I'm having a hard time with that, as I don't know why I'm angry or what I'm angry about.
I had something petty that made me angry, but that was several hours ago. I'm not angry about that, anymore. Forgiveness, release - done. But that anger still sits.
Odds are I'm mad about something I can't control; something I want to control but can't. I think it must be work related; orders aren't going out as fast as I want them to. I can't make anybody work faster, harder or more often, and I have to be real and admit that I'm allowing that to really cause me to feel stress and anger - a lot of anger. I'm angry I can't control that. I feel stress because I feel like I'm disappointing clients - clients that the business (and, by extension, my family) need to get by, to move forward, to live the life that not only I think we ought to live, but that my wife and I agreed upon, and are working so hard to accomplish. And guess what - we need every single client we have. We're still trying to recover from losing out number 3 client last year. I feel like it's all my responsibility, and that I can't accomplish it on my own, or if I could just do without sleep or working at the theater I probably could. It's profoundly frustrating, man, to not be able to do it all yourself. And for me it's irritating that I can't force others to do what I want them to, work wise; to feel like I can't compel them to do what I know (or at least feel) in my gut needs to get done.
On a lesser note, I dragged Toni to see "Avatar" and it seems to have been a pretty big disappointment. I'm glad I didn't pay to see it, and I feel bad because I feel like I wasted her time.
And so when I got home I spent three hours pouting and watching TV shows I didn't want to watch, because I wanted to be by myself and work. I wanted to act out out of anger but not badly enough to actually consider it. I packed boxes and watched the '86 version of "The Fly". Then I blogged. I'm hoping I wake up in a better mood tomorrow.
789 for Tuesday
6 comments:
Here I go with my take on forgiveness:
When it is asked for or given at that point your attitude towards the person or situation undergoes a change. You have to start dealing with it as God does us. "As far as the east is from the west"
This does not mean you are not still upset or hurt by the action, you just cannot deal with it from a stance of anger.
Thankfully, God has given my wife the Grace to apply this to me and my sin against her.
As far as letting others anger you, just remember it is giving them power over you. And all of us control freaks HATE giving power to others, so take it back, claim it, and keep it. The only person who can really make you angry is you.
I would love to hear others thoughts on forgiveness. Not trying to hijack your blog, this has just been a huge part of my life here lately.
I have heard God forgets our sins when forgiven, but I don't believe that. I think it is more that he remembers, but chooses not to hold it against us. God is unable to be both All Knowing and Forgetful correct? And when the time of Juidgment comes, there has to be a reckoning for our action right?
(If this ain't the forum for this please delete this on outta here Ian)
Actually, the standard for dealing with the forgiven person, whether they asked for forgiveness or not (assuming here a person will choose to forgive someone that doesn't ask) is that you cease to deal with them in regards to the forgiven incident in ways that are not instructional, necessary and without anger.
It is very, very difficult. It is also, I believe, required of us by God.
I have been told that Forgivness is an act of Faith in God. I had not thought of it like that before and to think of that gave me a different look on it.
Feel free to yank this if it's not what you were looking for Ian. I am no theologian, but my understanding of how God forgives us is this:
I'm going to post a long passage from Hebrews and not try to say much afterwards.
Hebrews 10:5-25
"Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said:
"Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,but a body you prepared for me;
6with burnt offerings and sin offerings you were not pleased.
7Then I said, 'Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—
I have come to do your will, O God.'" 8First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them" (although the law required them to be made). 9Then he said, "Here I am, I have come to do your will." He sets aside the first to establish the second. 10And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
11Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. 12But when this priest (Jesus) had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. 13Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, 14because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
15The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:
16"This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." 17Then he adds:
"Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." 18And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. 19Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Just a few things:
1. In the Old Testament, animals had to be killed in our place for our sins, but never take our sins away from us. This had to happen again and again. Not anymore - there is NO sacrifice for sin except the one which already happened: Jesus.
2. God isn't like us so He doesn't "forget" like we do. He remembers our sin, but they are utterly and completely forgiven because of Christ. It is as if they never happened because Christ bore our punishment for us.
3. Christ also bore the penalty of other people's sins' against us. And this is where my mind melts - When someone sins against me, I cannot hold that sin against them because Christ has paid the penalty already. As Cindy said, that is very, very hard to live out practically because there are still consequences for sin (loss of trust, physical damage, the list is very long) Which is why we need to do what that passage says: draw near to God...And consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds and not give up meeting together... but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
There are a whole bunch of applications out of that. Anyway...love you both KB and Cindy.
"What do you do when you get mad at something or somebody, only to figure out that you're not really mad at them (or at that), and yet you cannot figure out a way to alleviate that anger?"
Did you ask for forgiveness?
If you are getting mad and you don't know why, you really have to back up and get with the Lord and figure out why you are angry. If you ignore it will only get worse.
Post a Comment